"Life is short." It's a cliché we hear again, and again, and again. We all know it. We understand what it means. But not all of us take it to heart. I know I didn't and how I regret that now.
I lost a dear, dear friend yesterday. He survived his kidney transplant but succumbed to complications after getting pneumonia. In the many months that he was in and out of the hospital, I only got to visit him thrice. Thrice. In 8 months! I put it down largely to denial. I hated seeing him in his hospital bed, with all the tubes. To an extent, it wasn’t the independent, hated-to-be-a-charity-case Jbounce I was used to.
But Jay kept his humor. That was how he was. He found humor in most things – even (or especially!) himself. He was fun! And he was talented. He filled our lives with his wit and his music. He still had so much ahead of him. He was looking forward to going back to work, and hearing mass at Gesu, and to saving up for that vacation for his mom. About a couple of weeks ago on the way to work, I was tuned in to the station he worked for and heard the DJ announcing that he was starting on the 6 to 9pm 90’s show that Saturday. I felt bad. That was Jay’s show and how he loved it! I thought to myself that he’d be back, and that I’d visit him weekly at Eastwood, just as I promised.
Even back in college, we talked about death a lot. His, mostly. How he wanted his funeral, what songs to play.. Other friends would tune out to our morbid conversations but when you’re young and in the pink of health, death is just a concept that’s far away. In a way, I’m glad now that I listened. I just never thought I would see this day so soon.
He always imagined himself dying in a heroic manner, though. It was after the death of that JVP(?) years back (I apologize, his name eludes me right now) that he got it into his head that he would die after hurling himself on top of a grenade, yelling “Ay, grenade!”. If that never happened, he joked, he’d make sure to call and tell or text me those two words, even if he had to ask Karl to do it.
You are a hero, Jay. You encouraged us when we were unsure about trying things out (you got Bill to harmonize and me to dare to sing! Danny is just another story..). You made us laugh. You were there for us in our lowest moments. You lifted our spirits with your music. You fought hard and you taught us to be brave.
So let me say for you today the words you never got to say.. “Ay, grenade!”
We love you, dude, and we’ll really, really miss you.
